This weekly blog post highlights women who are successfully running their online business while managing a household to #NormalizeTheShitShow that comes with the territory of “doing it all”.
These moms are going to share the messy side of running their biz & raising kids, what a typical day in the life looks like (does this even exist?!), how they deal with mom guilt and SO MUCH MORE!
You're getting a sneak peek into what their life looks like so you don't have to feel bad when you haven't bathed your kids in weeks & they have avocado in their hair as they lay in their crib (guilty 🙋🏼♀️).
This week we’re hanging out with Suz Carpenter of CarpenterOne80.
CarpenterOne80 exists to clear up food confusion so that women can win at losing weight
4 - 20,18, twins that are 13
"Well, I have grown businesses and worked from home for 10 years. That means I have juggled life as a mom and entrepreneur with twin 2-year-olds, elementary school plays, needed overnight costumes, teen heavy stuff, tween hormones, and young adults. I have a lot to offer with tips: like how to work during naptimes even though mom needs a nap, or what to do when you are in the middle of a work project and you find out there is head lice. I have been through it all and can be so encouraging and relatable.
My goal in life is #raisinggreatadults, but that does not mean it is tidy or easy. Ironically, this newest level of my company came from the messiest part of my life...the secret I kept out of shame. I had an eating disorder and wasn't ready to deal with it until I realized the impact it would have on my girls if I didn't get healthy and become a better role model. Now, my children see where I grew a new company from the ground up. They see where a mess QUALIFIES you for something rather than disqualifies you. I want them to play big, they need to see me doing the same.
Mom's need encouragement. We are nurturing and caregiving to our families. We are doing the same in our businesses. It can feel lonely and hard. We, women, need role models and encouragement to refill so that we never get too empty. We need to stay fresh and fueled to stay in the game to create, advance, and sustain momentum in our fields.
I speak to the importance of nutrition from the perspective of when we women (mom bosses) like how we look and feel, our confidence starts strong in the morning. We are not coming at our business from the position of an underdog or feeling inferior because we don't like how we look and feel. Women make the world GROW, when we feel confident (and a lot of it has to do with the voice in the morning speaking life and strength..or defeat and insecurity) we have a way of making sales, growing revenue, having incredible conversations that lead to future collaborating relationships, etc... we need our health to have the energy and stamina to show up to our families and businesses the way we want to.
Oh geeze. Fatigue! In all the things I said above...those are the hard things about business. My kids want me when they want me. They can feel my focus on business (and not on them at the moment) is saying they are less important. It is the opposite. I do this for financial freedom, for the things they want, for the trips to make memories. Right now, we are sacrificing some of those things because I need to invest time. I do feel guilty about that.
It is hard to turn off my creative brain when I am transitioning from entrepreneur to mom. I have so many moments when the conversations are in my head and they are talking, but since the volume is so loud in my head, I can't hear them. It physically hurts to transition and it is HARD.
It is hard to let the dishes sit, the laundry remains unfolded, and the chores go undone. It is hard to be in the middle of filming a video and they need me right then. I feel like I am choosing work over them. I am not, in my heart.
It is hard to come out of the office after a long workday to realize there is no dinner. That is my job, I feel like I dropped the ball. No one really cares, but I do. This isn't how Pinterest makes it look. My job is nutrition after all.
It is hard to feel like I am never done. My mind is aware what I don't do today will politely wait for me to do tomorrow. I have to work hard to just be ok with it. That doesn't come naturally.
It is hard to admit how hard it is. I am a positive person by nature. Asking for help is hard. It feels like failing, it isn't.
I am scared ALL THE TIME! I love winning, I love purchase orders and I love what I am doing...but when numbers are not coming in, new clients don't show up, I am terrified. I am afraid I working hard and they won't ever get to experience the reward of the sacrifice (it's a lie...but I feel the scared feeling all the same). I feel like it is selfish, chasing my dream and building this, because of how much I love it.
I compare myself to other moms who love PTO, school crafts, live for kid sports (and that isn't me). I am a former first-grade teacher who was tortured by all the back to school stuff because it took me away from work. When I spend time with my kids, I don't want it to be at school.
Yes, I am late to pick them up because I forgot because I was in the middle of writing some excellent pieces of content. I prayed for longer naps and early dinners because I was so tired...
gah....I am judging myself writing this to you. Imagine my head banging on my computer right now...it's just so hard (somedays).
I have goofed everything up...we ran out of diapers, I had to put a dish towel on a twin and run to the store late at night because I didn't notice how low we were during the day.
to work 8-12
-this is usually creative stuff... emails, course, tech, team, etc.. I need my morning to be creative
12-12:10 lunch ( i am kidding) I hang with the kids. Mine are older now and it's summer. They sleep in. The real struggle is that they don't go to bed until midnight and I am tired by 9 because I get up so early.
1-4 work (podcasts, clients, recordings, videos, live segments)
4-4:30 break and snack
5-6 wrap up work
6 come downstairs and pray there are leftovers or someone magically made dinner!
6-9 dinner and family and if the kids go do their own thing, my husband and I talk or we hit our computers to wrap up a few loose ends
9 I am jello starting now. Pretty much, I just want to go to bed at this point. It depends on the kids and the night
I can speak to 10 years ago and this schedule was entirely different. It was
wake up when kids get up... o dark early...
I go work out and put them in childcare
hope they take a nap
maybe go to the grocery because that is fun
lunch (geeze....it feels like we have lived a day at this point)
nap (PLEASE!!!). I would do 3 things for the business as fast as I could
nap over- play/make dinner
hope they don't fuss and cry
dinner-more crying- me trying to figure out how to do 2 more things
kids to bed
2 more things for work--- keep thinking ""this is worth it...""
I should add I am married to a VP, he traveled all the time when they were little. I was on my own. He is my favorite, we missed him.. now, DKC is around a lot more bc of how work has changed (covid) it is amazing, and my kids are older. "
Ummmmmmm I think my two answers above should be title. MOM GUILT... the whole deal is trying to get over it and realize you are a human who is trying to do the very best job with what you have.
No one wants me to feel guilt. Not my husband or any true friends. I need to stop picking it up. It is natural to feel that way, but it is not required in order to be a good mom. We need more people supporting us that we are doing hard good work and guilt is not a feeling we should have.
Now that I had a counseling session. I love the time freedom. I love that it is all my choice. I can go to the dr. appts without asking for time off, I can take a Wednesday off because I don't feel like working, I can hang out in the afternoon with a teen because they want to show me all the Tik Toks on their phone. I am here in the house with them. They like my physical body in the house, even if I am filling out a form like this one.
I have humans around me all the time that I grew and love. #raisinggreatadults
I love my very close relationship with my husband and kids. Our home is a sanctuary and place of rest. We like being here together...even with work. This is where we all feel we belong and where we restore. That is everything.
Do it, show up, grow it, it will be hard, it doesn't mean it is bad or wrong. It will be really really messy. Stuff will get spilled and you won't see it. That is ok. Your life will be solid in one area and completely fall apart in another at the same time. It is ok. Expect it and when it happens, welcome to being normal. You have a story to tell.
It is a journey. It really isn't ever a destination. The trick is to take the journey and enjoy it along the way. That's the real trick. Figuring that out.
You will feel scared and uncomfortable, that is your signal that you are doing it right. People who have a business and family that you admire have gone past a lot of obstacles and messy stuff to get to the point they are at that look easy. Trust me, it wasn't easy for them, they survived, you will too.
There will be sooooooooo many hard moments when you think you can't take anymore. The hits may come fast. Take em. They won't last, the sun will come up tomorrow, your child will do something adorable...tomorrow... Keep going.
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